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we're all doomed! :D

Discussion in 'Time Out' started by glebe digital, Jul 16, 2010.

  1. glebe digital

    glebe digital Member

    lets face it.....
    _________

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
    Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
    Contestant: Homosexuals.
    Paxman:No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.


    BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
    Jamie Theakston:Where do you think Cambridge University is?
    Contestant:Geography isn't my strong point.
    Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
    Contestant: Leicester .


    BBC NORFOLK
    Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
    Contestant:I don'tknow.
    White:I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
    Contestant: Arm.
    White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
    Contestant:Strong.
    White:Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
    Contestant:Louis.
    White:Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What a Wonderful World?
    Contestant: Frank Sinatra?


    LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
    Alex Trelinski:What is the capital of Italy ?
    Contestant: France .
    Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
    Contestant:Oh, um, Benidorm.
    Trelinski:Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
    Contestant:Sorry, I don't know.
    Trelinski:Just guess a country then.
    Contestant: Paris .


    THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
    Anne Robinson:-Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what:- Prison, or the Conservative Party?
    Contestant:The Conservative Party.


    BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
    DJ Mark:For ten pounds, what is the nationality of the Pope?
    Ruth from Rowley Regis:I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?


    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
    Bamber Gascoigne:What was Gandhi's first name?
    Contestant:Goosey?


    GWR FM ( Bristol )
    Presenter:What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
    Contestant:I don't know. I wasn't watching it then.

    RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )
    Presenter:What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ...?
    Caller:Mohicans.


    PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
    Phil:What's 11 squared?
    Contestant: I don't know.
    Phil:I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
    Contestant:Is it five?


    RICHARD AND JUDY
    Leslie:On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
    Contestant:Er .. . .
    Leslie:He makes bread . . ..
    Contestant:Er .. . ..
    Leslie:He makes cakes . . ...
    Contestant: Kipling Street ?


    LINCS FM PHONE-IN
    Presenter:Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
    Contestant: Barcelona .
    Presenter:I was really after the name of a country.
    Contestant:I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .


    NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
    Question:What is the world's largest continent?
    Contestant:The Pacific


    ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
    Presenter:Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
    Contestant:Who Framed Roger Rabbit?


    THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
    Steve Le Fevre:What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
    Contestant:Magna Carta ?.


    JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
    O'Brien:How many kings of England have been called Henry?
    Contestant:Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth .... ER .. ER ... Three?


    CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
    Searle:In which European country is Mount Etna ?
    Caller: Japan .
    Searle:I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
    Caller:Er ..... Mexico ?


    PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
    Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
    Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.


    DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
    Daryl Denham:In which country would you spend shekels?
    Contestant: Holland ?
    Denham:Try the next letter of the alphabet.
    Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
    Denham (helpfully):It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
    Contestant:No.


    PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
    Wood:What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
    Contestant:Er .. . .
    Wood:It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . ..
    Contestant:Blimey?
    Wood:Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
    Contestant: [Silence]
    Wood:OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
    Contestant:Walked?


    THE VAULT
    Melanie Sykes:What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
    Contestant:Nostalgia.


    LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
    Presenter:What religion was Guy Fawkes?
    Contestant:Jewish.
    Presenter:That's close enough.


    STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
    Wright:Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
    Contestant:Jesus.
     
  2. FreelanceUK

    FreelanceUK Administrator

    Sadly brilliant. Kor Blimey will keep me smiling for the rest of the morning..thanks for sharing.
     
  3. lazybones

    lazybones Banned

    i laughed so hard. pure genius :D:D
     
  4. JackKal

    JackKal New Member

    PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
    Phil:What's 11 squared?
    Contestant: I don't know.
    Phil:I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
    Contestant:Is it five?

    This one made me laugh so hard! I can't believe it, he even gave the contestant the answer haha
     
  5. SuperDuper

    SuperDuper New Member

    Hahahaha that is awesome, love it!
     
  6. SiobhanB

    SiobhanB New Member

    These are hilarious! :laugh2 any chance there are videos of these incidents? I want to see the reactions of the audience
     
  7. Write-On

    Write-On New Member

    Giggle Fit

    :laugh2 Gotta be shared to my FB friends. Thanks for posting!:D
     
  8. rob.b

    rob.b New Member

    My slow realisation that this was not intentional comedy but earnest answers from not so bright people:
    :laugh2:happy:indifferent:mad:
     

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